Happy Fucking Whatever!

It's probably high time I wished everyone a happy Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/uh, whatever-other-religions-do-at-this-time. In all honesty, I'm getting a little sick of Christmas really. It's pretty much the same thing year after year, cue tree, cue lights, cue angel with a prickly branch shoved where you'd rather not think about. I'm seriously considering giving it up next year and giving Hannukah a whirl instead. Why not this year? Well, I need to practice my dreidel spinning and find out where to buy a yarmulke in Shanghai. There's probably a synagogue somewhere around here. Why Hannukah? Well, I'm not religious and I've kind of been giving Christianity a free ride all these years by doing the whole Christmas thing. It's high time I started getting into other religions too, if only for the sake of celebrating something-or-other. Plus, there are some people I know who'd get pissed off if I suddenly starting doing Jewish stuff. An important part of life is pissing off all the right people. Besides, it's not like I'm planning to eat pork on the 25th anyway. Maybe I could give the winter solstice a shot, it's probably more in line with my heathen beliefs. Problem is I don't know a damn thing about it, so maybe I'll have to put that on hold til 2006. Anyone have any other ideas on what I could do to celebrate in style?